Orange is the new black is back!

I should be doing 500 other things but I’m just to excited to start the next season of Orange is the new black!!

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COMMUNICATING SUCKS

I feel like I need a translator to be heard sometimes. I’m never really understood when I try expressing myself and what bothers me. My boyfriend for example sometimes refuses to acknowledge that my feelings are important. He cares more about being right and shutting me up instead of actually understanding what bothers me. Every time something bothers me and I tell him, I end up feeling like it was my fault in the first place.

FEAR IN ALL ITS GLORY

I don’t like who I am when I’m with my boyfriend sometimes. He cheated once so I can become annoying, untrusting, overbearing, and complain too much. I’m afraid he’ll get sick of me and stop loving me or worse…he’ll cheat again. I’m on edge a lot fearing that everything I do upsets him or annoys him. I love him though.

I know this much

No idea what I want in life but I do know…I love light shades of blue. I love the smell of roses and the air after it rains. I love candles and the soft light they create. I love going to concerts and traveling. I love the first winter snowfall and the first summer beach trip. I love people who can make me laugh. I love cuddling. I love binge watching shows. But I am very anxious and I overthink everything. I just need to breathe and remember all the things I love that make life wonderful.

RELATIONSHITS

Relationships should be a relief and break from all the other stress in life. Some people boost our energy reserves while others drain us dry.

I’M A BETTER SMELLING REPELLENT

It seems like no one wants to be around me, not my boyfriend, not my friends. My boyfriend ignores me a lot and doesn’t care to talk to me, same as friends. I’ve always been very negative my entire life and I feel like its ruining my life. I hate being negative but I can’t help it. It’s like I have bad energy that makes people not want to be around me.

New to NYC

So I just moved back home from college and have no life and no friends here. I’m trying to feel it out but I’m not a city kinda girl. I’m used to the suburbs but your girl needs to work. NYC is beautiful and has so much going on but sometimes its overwhelming.

You can feel so insignificant in such a big city.

I don’t know which place to go drink eat dance hangout at. Too many choices. I don’t really know about fun activities and things to do in nyc. I want to start going out more to bars and clubs so I can have fun and meet new people but I’m scared to go alone.

Oh by the way let me know recommendations if you know any good places please!

FOOL ME ONCE…NOW WHAT?

My boyfriend of almost 3 years cheated on me last valentine’s day and I still can’t seem to fully recover. He still makes me happy a lot, but there is very little trust. He’s sick of me bringing it up and claims he loves me a lot (almost everyday) but it still hurts thinking about it sometimes. I wouldn’t worry as much with other guys if they went out to bars or talked to other girls a lot.

Not ready

I just graduated college and I’m scared as hell. I’m starting a job on monday but it is not what I want to do at all. I’m dreading it and its miserable but it pays well. I have so many loans so the money is important. I don’t know what I wanna do with my life. I’ll also be commuting very early which will suck… fuck I wanna go back to college